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1.
Sharon Osbourne as soon as told a story about firing her assistant after a home hearth. After they evacuated the burning dwelling, she insisted her assistant return inside to save lots of their canines and work. “He did get the canines, and the hearth engines arrive. Very beautiful folks. They got here, they usually had this oxygen for the assistant. So then I stated to him, ‘How very dare you, you’re employed right here, and also you get extra work out proper now.’ I took the masks, and I put it on my canine.”
The subsequent day, Sharon and her husband, Ozzy, had been laughing in regards to the incident when the assistant stated, “I do not see what’s humorous about any of this. I believe I’m going to have broken lungs.” Osbourne stated she replied, “‘For those who do not assume that is humorous, do you assume that is humorous?'” then fired him.
2.
After Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder got married, Somerhalder joked about how he threw out her contraception in order that she would get pregnant. “We determined that we needed to have kids collectively, and it was simply time. However unbeknownst to poor Nikki, she did not notice that I used to be going to go in her purse and take out her contraception,” he stated on Dr. Berlin’s Knowledgeable Being pregnant Podcast. “By the way in which, it was the start of the pack, so I needed to pop all these suckers out. It’s quite a lot of work, particularly after a little bit little bit of sangria,” he laughed.
3.
Pedro Pascal found out about what would turn out to be his breakout function as Oberyn Martell in Game of Thrones whereas serving to a USC pupil whom he was mentoring audition for the function. “He is, like, a 25-year-old child, actually, actually proficient, handsome […] He’d by no means seen the present. I used to be an enormous fan,” Pascal stated, noting that he thought the function was “excellent…for me!” Whereas his mentee was within the toilet, he texted his agent about getting an audition for a component, joking he’d locked his mentee within the toilet (although this was an apparent embellishment). After his mentee left, Pascal used his mentee’s facet to file his audition, then contacted his finest pal Sarah Paulson, who was associates with one of many GoT showrunner’s wives, and handed alongside the tape. Pascal obtained the half.
4.
Insurgent Wilson as soon as told Jimmy Kimmel that she touched Anne Hathaway’s boobs with out her consent whereas filming The Hustle, to the laughter of Jimmy and the viewers, then stated she’d achieved one thing much like Tom Hardy on the set of This Means Struggle after the director allegedly instructed her to attempt to stick her finger in his butt.
5.
Equally, Margot Robbie said she kissed Brad Pitt in Babylon as a result of she needed to. She joked, “I assumed, ‘When else am I gonna get the prospect to kiss Brad Pitt? I am simply gonna go for it.'” She instructed director Damien Chazelle she needed to do it and claimed that Damien replied, “‘Wait, maintain on. You simply wanna kiss Brad Pitt.’ And I used to be like, ‘Oh, so sue me. This chance may by no means come up once more.'”
6.
One other tremendous creepy “humorous” story is Jason Segel speaking about writing the function of Violet in The 5-12 months Engagement, his character’s love curiosity, for Emily Blunt. In 2012, Segel joked of writing the intercourse scenes, “There’s some benefit to writing the stuff. I wrote all these love scenes with Emily Blunt, and he or she reveals up, and he or she simply has to do it as a result of we’re paying her cash, and it is her job.”
7.
Lena Dunham’s weird rant about Odell Beckham Jr. not chatting with her on the Met Gala remains to be so cringeworthy to me. “It was so superb as a result of it was like he checked out me, and he decided I used to be not the form of a girl by his requirements,” she stated in an interview with Amy Schumer. “He was like, ‘That is a marshmallow. That is a toddler. That is a canine.’ It wasn’t imply — he simply appeared confused. The vibe was very very similar to, ‘Do I wish to f— it? Is it sporting a… Yep, it is sporting a tuxedo. I am going to return to my cellphone.’ It was like we had been compelled to be collectively, and he actually was scrolling Instagram fairly than have to have a look at a girl in a bow tie. I used to be like, ‘This needs to be known as the Metropolitan Museum of Getting Rejected by Athletes,'” Dunham joked.
8.
At a present in Las Vegas after internet hosting the Oscars, Amy Schumer revealed a joke that she’d been “banned” from telling through the ceremony in regards to the deadly taking pictures of Halyna Hutchins on the set of Rust. The joke was, “Do not Look Up is the title of a film? Extra like do not look down the barrel of Alec Baldwin’s shotgun.” I am nonetheless scratching my head on why Schumer thought A) this was an acceptable joke and B) that she ought to inform the story of her not being allowed to inform it.
9.
Chelsea Handler has made a number of racist feedback about Angelina Jolie’s kids over time, particularly with reference to Maddox, who Jolie adopted from Cambodia. In her ebook Are You There, Vodka? It is Me, Chelsea, she told the story, “I rolled over and picked an Us Weekly journal off the ground. The quilt had an image of Angelina, Brad, and their little Eskimo son, Maddox. I sat staring on the photograph, questioning why this little man seems to be so pissed off in each image. At first, I assumed he was simply pissed about his mohawk, however then I noticed he is most likely livid.”
“Maddox should have thought he hit the jackpot when some A-list superstar rescued him from third-world Cambodia, solely to find that she was going to shuffle him forwards and backwards to each different third-world nation within the universe. He is most likely like, ‘When the fuck are we gonna get to Malibu, bitch?'” The joke solely served to make Handler look racist.
10.
Thomas Middleditch has instructed some questionable tales about his expertise “swinging” along with his spouse. He as soon as joked to Playboy journal, “I self-deprecatingly name myself a pervert, however that is not what it’s. I similar to it. I am sexual” after revealing that he did not inform his spouse that he needed to be polyamorous till after they had been married, at which level, as he describes it, he casually stated, “Mollie, I am sorry, however we now have to get nontraditional right here.”
11.
Invoice Cosby has a history of telling tales and jokes about Spanish Fly (an alleged aphrodisiac) — together with on this interview with Larry King. That is a type of messed-up celeb tales that took years for folks to comprehend how tousled it’s, however within the context of the allegations towards Cosby, it’s miles extra disturbing.
12.
Many “humorous” tales from the set of That ’70s Present have additionally been considered in a brand new mild within the wake of Danny Masterson’s rape conviction. Specifically, in a single interview, Ashton Kutcher talked a few guess he made with Masterson the place Masterson would pay Kutcher $20 if he used his tongue in a kissing scene with then-14-year-old Mila Kunis. He then stated she was “receptive” (Kunis denied he had used tongue, saying she blocked him, however Kutcher maintained that he had) and clarified she was “15 by then,” including, “There is a massive distinction, that one 12 months makes the entire world change.”
13.
John Stamos as soon as told an excellent creepy story about getting his pal laid by tricking a girl into considering she was having intercourse with him within the mid-’80s. “I used to be in a band. I used to be taking part in someplace in Finland, and there was a lady hanging round who was actually drunk and eager about me. I wasn’t into her, however my pal was. So the lady got here again to my resort, and I turned the lights down, and we began making out. I stated, ‘Maintain on a second, I’ve gotta go brush my enamel.’ It was darkish, I left the room, and I despatched in my pal who seemed like me. And he or she thought she was having intercourse with me, however she was actually having intercourse with my pal.”
14.
Jennifer Lawrence as soon as told a “humorous” story on The Graham Norton Present about scratching her butt on sacred Hawaiian rocks whereas filming The Starvation Video games. “We had been filming in Hawaii, and there have been…sacred…rocks — I dunno, they had been ancestors, who is aware of — they had been sacred. And you are not supposed to take a seat on them since you’re not supposed to show your genitalia to them. I, nonetheless, was in a moist swimsuit for this entire shoot, so, oh my God, they had been so good for butt itching!”
She says one of many rocks she used for itching was dislodged and fell down the facet of a mountain, coming near putting and killing the sound engineer. “All of the Hawaiians had been like, ‘Oh my God, it is the curse!’ And I used to be sitting within the nook like, ‘Haha! I am your curse! I wedged it unfastened with my ass!'” She later apologized for her feedback, saying she meant “completely no disrespect to the Hawaiian folks.”
15.
I simply really feel icky watching this Jimmy Kimmel interview with Brett Ratner, the place he tries to show what a humorous, sensible joker Michael Jackson was by telling a narrative about how he accompanied Michael to throw water balloons at a person experiencing homelessness.
16.
In one other “prank” story, Demi Lovato as soon as tweeted a few trick she pulled on her bodyguard, claiming she’d employed a intercourse employee to seize “him in his ‘space.'” She then deleted it, then tweeted, “I might tweet one thing about craving jelly beans and it might offend somebody,” and instructed folks to take heed to her track “Warrior,” writing, “Of all folks I find out about sexual abuse. You do not have to teach me.” Lovato finally apologized for her tweet, and her bodyguard Max known as the incident Lovato referred to “a joke and a enjoyable prank,” saying he wasn’t offended.
17.
On one episode of The Adam Friedland Present (later faraway from Spotify), Friedland and Matty Healy instructed a reasonably disturbing story about leaving Healy’s residence with associates. One of many ladies with them went again to Healy’s residence as a result of she’d forgotten her water bottle, solely to apparently discover “Matty, like, on his cellphone after which on his 77-inch OLEDs simply obtained Ghetto Gaggers blaring,” according to Adam, referring to a racist and misogynistic porn web site the place Black ladies specifically are degraded and humiliated. “Thirty seconds after the hold, simply hardcore pornography.”
Healy corroborated the story, saying, “You are not exaggerating. It was 30 seconds, like, you guys had been nonetheless ready exterior. She got here again in; I used to be already flustered. I used to be dressed as ‘man who’s jacking off,’ so I had, like, an untucked shirt, and I believe it actually was Ghetto Gaggers on the TV — someone simply getting, like, brutalized,” Healy joked.
18.
In an anthology about unhealthy intercourse, Alison Brie wrote about convincing a male homosexual pal to have intercourse together with her. “And what if he had been to find he was really straight? I’d have saved him from a lifetime of dysfunctional penetration. Actually my vagina would have been his highway to salvation!” she wrote. The 2 did have intercourse, though he purportedly did not need her to the touch his penis, and had problem getting aroused, which solely prompted Brie to brainstorm new options. Brie known as the entire thing a failure, although she’s apparently nonetheless associates with the person.
19.
This story wasn’t essentially framed as amusing, however I nonetheless assume it is so odd that Jamie Lee Curtis felt the necessity to inform it in any respect. When Jamie met Ana de Armas on the set of Knives Out, she says she thought de Armas was “unsophisticated” and a brand new actor as a result of she was from Cuba. “I assumed — and I say this with actual embarrassment — as a result of she had come from Cuba, that she had simply arrived,” she stated. “I made an assumption that she was an inexperienced, unsophisticated younger girl. That first day, I used to be like, ‘Oh, what are your desires?'”
20.
This one additionally is not a “humorous” story, however I nonetheless assume it is so ridiculous that Matt Damon framed having solely not too long ago “retired” the f-slur as if it was a superb factor. In an interview, he claimed that after he made a joke utilizing the slur, his daughter gave him a “treatise” on the topic. “The phrase that my daughter calls the ‘f-slur for a gay’ was generally used once I was a child, with a distinct utility,” Damon said. After making the joke, “She left the desk. I stated, ‘Come on, that is a joke! I say it within the film Caught on You!'”
He later walked again this model of the story, saying he had “by no means known as anybody ‘f****t’ in [his] private life and this dialog with [his] daughter was not a private awakening.” He stated he was making an attempt to contextualize to his daughter the progress that had been made since he was a child, telling her he’d heard the F-slur typically as a child “earlier than [he] knew what it even referred to.” He stated he “defined that that phrase was used consistently and casually and was even a line of dialogue in a film of mine as not too long ago as 2003; she in flip expressed incredulity that there might ever have been a time the place that phrase was used unthinkingly.”
21.
And eventually, on a podcast episode in 2019, T.I. stated that he takes his daughter to the gynecologist yearly to test if she’s nonetheless a virgin. (For the file, checking if the hymen is undamaged just isn’t a superb indicator of virginity, and the World Well being Group has known as virginity testing “a violation of the human rights of women and girls”). T.I. later claimed he’d “embellished” and “exaggerated” the story, that he’d solely gone to her physician’s appointments when she was youthful, and that his daughter had no downside with it (although she did, he stated, “have an issue with me speaking about it,” which he claimed to have apologized for).
“She understands my intentions, and he or she is aware of who I’m, who I’ve all the time been,” he continued, however his daughter Deyjah’s comments indicated in any other case. She claimed T.I. had come together with her to her gynecologist since she was 14 or 15 and that she “could not have stated no.” She known as the state of affairs “a little bit traumatizing,” saying she was “very shocked, harm, offended, [and] embarrassed” that T.I. had spoken publicly about it.
What do you consider these tales? Tell us within the feedback.
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